Netflix's Love on the Spectrum is a great dating show that focuses on people with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Dating shows have been a tentpole of reality television since the beginning, and Netflix has had its share of salacious, high concept hits like Love is Blind. But one of its latest series offers a refreshing and long overdue new perspective on the genre. Love on the Spectrum is a five-part Australian documentary about young people with Autism Spectrum Disorder in search of romance. While overproduced shows in the style of The Bachelor might be fit for a mindless fling, Love on the Spectrum is the real deal:A dating show that's as important, authentic, tender and hilarious as true love itself.
Not that long ago, people with ASD -- when they were represented in media -- were harmfully stereotyped and sometimes the butt of cruel jokes. As changing cultural attitudes rendered that approach distasteful, they became objects of pity and fascination (Rain Man, I am Sam). Most recently, they've been used to add a dash of quirk (The Big Bang Theory). Such characters were and still are often portrayed by neurotypical actors. The kind of representation that neurodiverse people deserve is exactly what Love on the Spectrum delivers. It's a reality dating showfeaturing adozen of people on the spectrum speaking for themselves and presented with full humanity.
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The series' breakout star -- and one of the most endearing human beings ever to be featured on television -- is Michael, a 25 year old man with autism who has made it his life's goal to get married. But Michael doesn't just want a wife as a trophy for having reached some milestone of normality. Doctors warned his parents he'd probably never tell them he loved them or feel empathy for others. Difficulty with social cues is a common indicator of ASD, but that doesn't mean people with ASD don't feel(a misconception that comes up time and again on the show). Michael is so compelled by human behavior that he's spent his life studying it, and is more emotionally aware of what it takes to make a relationship succeed than most neurotypical people in the dating pool.
Among the rest of the cast is two already established coupleswho have functional and loving partnerships of enviable quality. Thomas describes himself as the mild butter chicken to Ruth's spicy curry. She's a collector with a beloved pet snake, he's a train enthusiast, and they're planning to marry and move into a house with railroad views. They're unabashedly themselves, and it's a joy to watch them going after and getting what they want in life. When asked if they love each other, they explain that their ability to understand each other's struggles, and to offer support, has resulted in something beyond love. Jimmy and Sharnae have recently moved in together, and communicate so clearly abouttheir needs, they know exactly how to treat each other, down to how many seconds the other prefers to kiss or hold hands.
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But Love on the Spectrum isn't overly optimistic. The majority of its subjects don't find or keep companionship easily, which reflects a reality thatthe show confronts head on. The families of the hopeful romantics are heartwarmingly and heartbreakingly candid. In several episodes, a counselor uses role play to help cast members prepare for dates, with the goal of establishing common interests. To different extents, they find conversation confusing and physical affection intimidating, but they're able to channel intense passion into their hobbies, which range from cosplay to paleontology. Every time the viewer meets a new potential date, a narrator lists that individual's likes and dislikes. Their prospects vary: One woman explores her bisexuality, while a father, on the verge of tears, hopes his son can just find a girl who likes puzzles.
Love on the Spectrum might seem like a dating show about lowered expectations, but nothing could be further from the truth. While the series is surely cathartic and instructive for people with ASD and their support systems, it's also incredibly relatable and insightful to a general audience. If we're honest with ourselves, we all fret about many of the same things as Michael and company. We all endure small talk, and second guess if someone really likes us. We all want a significant other who will celebrate our strengths, adjust for our weaknesses and share our passions.
With other dating shows, something vital can get lost in the meaningless striving for an imagined standard of perfection. The soft lighting, airbrushed makeup, dramatic music, the trying to be somebody for somebody else... it pushes one ever further away from the real self and real intimacy.Love on the Spectrum is Netflix's best dating show -- and maybe the best dating show -- because of its raw vulnerability. It says out loud everything we've been socially conditioned to keep quiet, so as to seem "normal." But as Ruth (why be a carbon copy of a bachelorette when you can be a spicy curry with a snake!) so confidently demonstrates, normal, or even perfect, isn't the same thing as loveable.
KEEP READING:Despite The Pandemic Shutdown, Netflix Says It Will Increase Its Original Content In 2021
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Rita is a film and TV writer for CBR, and freelance writer and author. She teaches writing and theatre for Penn State and Kent State Universities. She studied writing and theatre at Carnegie Mellon University and the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. She lives and works out of the Greater Pittsburgh area.
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Love on the Spectrum is Netflix's Best Dating Show | CBR - CBR - Comic Book Resources
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